It is with deep regret that I inform you of my temporary departure for a period for ten days while I go to Berkeley, California and be cooler than each and every one of you. I shall be participating in a leadership forum on medicine. Some of you may wonder why I would betray you all in such a way. Well, although I know most of you personally, some I don't, and it is for you, unknown viewers, that I have no regrets.
You may ask, "But Derek, what ever will we do? My life revolves around your creative and well-written website." Have faith, my viewers, there is a dependable 99%-ish chance that my host won't turn belly-up in my absence. Because of this, you can read old articles; catch up on my exciting and unique taste in music.
You may be asking yet another question: "But Derek, what riches will you bring back from California for us?" I shall respond to this: "Nothing." However, upon my return, a brief period of just under a week before I again depart for Vansterdam*, I shall publish my much-anticipated review of Paramore's debut album All We Know Is Falling.
So fear not, faithful viewer/reader: Markfive Blog shall live on after my glorious return on the wings of a Boeing. Many treasures beyond the release of my review of Parmore's album shall be produced, but I cannot say what they are: you will just have to wait. But then again, you read this blog, so you should be used to waiting by now.
I shall deeply miss each and every one of you, although I will probably only think of a select few of you while I am gone. It is California, you remember. And Berkeley is not a city known for its acute memory retention (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). So farewell, audience, I promise that I shall return quickly enough so that you barely notice my initial departure.
P.S.: I'm really not like this in real life, I swear.
P.P.S.: I've updated the Billboard.